Saturday, February 23, 2013

SLAYER / LOMBARDO Controversy - Dead Serious Or LICH KING Style

By Featured Artists

Numerous discussions have been going on amongst SLAYER fans around the globe since DAVE LOMBARDO released his statement on being replaced for the band’s current Australian tour two days ago.

Slayer retaliated that “we do not agree with Dave Lombardo's substance or timeline of events” in a statement on Blabbermouth yesterday.

To know that there’s probably no other band on the planet being taken as serious by fans as Slayer is almost general knowledge. No show worldwide can justifiably be classified as metal without someone screaming “SLAYYYEEERRR!!!” and others joining in.

How dead serious the matter can be discussed shows best on the The United Church Of Slayer Facebook page where arguing had reached a degree at which one can hardly speak of “united” fans.

For either of us in the business, TESTAMENT’s Alex Skolnick has the wisest counsel:

Again, a completely different approach comes from U.S. thrashers LICH KING. A band to be taken dead serious music wise, but handling lyrics and their public statements with a wink - that is not understood by everyone.

Naturally, Lich King have their own and unique approach to the ongoing controversy and just issued an open letter to Dave Lombardo on their Facebook page.

Don’t get them wrong (again...): Lich King’s drummer Brian Westbrook has neither quit the band nor has he been sacked! The letter is just a damn classy joke that might help certain individuals to put the whole controversy back into perspective.

I laughed myself to tears while having first coffee and listening to South Of Heaven this morning, and hopefully you enjoy it just as much! Here you go:

An open letter to Dave Lombardo

Mr. Lombardo

What with your contract woes with Slayer, it seems you are now no longer a member. Well, Dave, they say with every door that closes, another opens. A big door with our logo on it has just swung wide.

That's right, you just got called up to the big leagues. We'd like to invite you to drum for Lich King.

We are the world's premier unsigned western Massachusetts thrash metal band, and a position with us carries a great deal of clout and privilege. In addition to the twelve dollars we can give you out of our pay split after EVERY SHOW, we are willing to offer you a signing bonus of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS and one (1) gift certificate for $20 at Red Robin.

Your duties will include
• Drumming
• Hauling gear
• Driving long hours on tour
• Providing us with a practice space because ours belongs to our current drummer Brian
• Booking tours (also a Brian duty)
• Recording and producing our albums (Brian again)
• Telling Brian he's fired

If you accept, there will of course be an audition. We can't just let you in without seeing what you can do. Practice up on any three of our songs. We can send you the mp3s to practice to (we will deduct the 99 cents per song from your future earnings) and can schedule your audition at your convenience.

We await your response.
-Tom, Dave, Joe & Rob

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